birthday reflections

good morning..with being a year older, and the year coming to the end i thought it was time to reflect again What a year it has been. I have got to be honest it was not the best year for me or so many people i know. For starters i figured it out and I spent over 3 months in the hospital this year. 3 months!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you very much H1N1, cancer and kidney disese. oy. If I wasnt in the hospital I was sitting because I could barely breathe. what else happened? Well I lost my best friend. I lost my family and rediscovered my family in the same breath. I was beyond hurt and betrayed. It gets tiring. Break ups, stupid boys, and girls that are quick to sell you out for stupid boys. some people say you have to move forward and I get that but there is a huge differnece between acknowledgement and acceptance. You can accept things and acknowledge they hurt your feelings.

This has not been a year of all bad. There have been some laughs. a lot of laughs. my baby is home where he belongs. I am offically off oxygen and yesterday my middle name could have been happy feet because I couldnt stop dancing. ugly sweater, sparkly shoes, hospital robe and all and if you think I wasnt dorkishly dancing around my house the way I only could you dont me very well. This year I met some great new friends.had many great adventures working on various projects. I found out who really loved me (and who never has). I was reunited with old friends. Love doesnt always show its self when we want it but is always there when you need it in all kinds of forms. I beat breast cancer (and you cant even tell that I had a masectomy)I graduated college. (3.78 even though I had 90 days in a hospital bed).

It may not have all been good but its another year in my life. You cant complain when you get to be here another year. You never know when your time is up so if God wants you here for somemore time that must be a good thing. I look forward to making my dreams come true this next year.and I look forward to sharing it with you. I gaurntee there will be some laughter, hopefully the freakish and bizaire accidents will be kept to a minimum.(although we figured out I end up averaging an accident a year..so we will see). There will probly be some more tears but definetly some ugly sweaters along with shoes and glasses only I could rock. So..fasten your seatbelts and get ready.

I got several cards in the mail yesterday. all of which made me smile. (thanks J)but one of them said something that should apply to you as well. ok, this will only make sense if you know my love for shoes (all things really) that sparkle. Between my shoes and my neon glasses you could see me from space but This is what he wrote:

"To the dorkiest and most clumsy girl I know: I dont know when you became so beautiful and amazing but you did it. I hope next year you take a few more chances and have more good times then bad. What I really want for you is to sparkle and be bright like those dang ugly shoes and glasses you wear."

lol..got to love my friends. Some people would be offended but I am the first to make fun of myself and I know that I am clumsy (how many people do you know stab themselves in the eye with a crab leg and squirt hydracortisone cream in there eye all w/ in 24 hours or break their foot because they are hopping around..lol)and I know my style is uinique and something that isnt for everyone but isnt life about standing out?
That is all I for now..till next time.xox