we're still moving..

It may be no secret by now but I wear my heart on my sleeve. One of the things I admire most in people is loyalty. Its what I admire most in my self and in others. Its one of the things I need most from people. I also ( this shld come as no surprise either) have a hard time letting things go. The characteristics I see in others I guess I expect others to see, and when they dont it bothers me. Case in point there was something pretty hurtful that happened awhile back. There was (ok is) a person who was desperate for the attention that she wasnt getting, and well there may have been a little jealousy there. Her behavior was mean, malicious and down right devious. It could not have been more obvious that she was trying to hurt me, or prove that she was prettier or what not. which (although i can be kinda bitchy) im not just not into being mean to others to make yourself feel better. not my style.. anyways and it could be that this horrific cold has decided to invade my body but it really really bothers me that I have friends or people I am close to who choose to continue to associate with someone who would do such awful things. Interestingly enough, you can see when girls get around this certain person they are changing who they are. I guess I am left with a big..really?????!! First off, while I certainly cant tell people what to do or who to be friends with where in the world has loyalty gone. May be I am off my rocker a bit, but if someone goes out of their way to hurt my best friends, or my family, or anyone I love id assume throw a shoe or two, or even dump a drink or fight before id be hanging with you. (well im not a fighter but you know what I mean). I guess I feel like if you mess my friends then you are messing with me. As I have gotten older, ive come to realize how to important it is to be a source of support for your friends. I have also learned that you cant have it both ways. This luke warm, flakiness, im your friend but when someone hurts you i dont care business is not for me. One thing about me especially these days you can pretty much say you know where you stand, I either like you or I dont. we are either friends or we are not and while I make no claims to be perfect I do think as I get older ive realized how important to be true. It sucks to think someone is there for you are really they are obcessed with the idea of being popular more than being your friend. sigh.. i probably sound bitter (thats mostly the cold talking) because truth be told im not bitter. I am hurt and sad but it happens. Most people would say how can you trust again? I would argue.. how can you not? I can not let one girls need for attention dictate my willingness to receive love. I will keep trusting because I owe that to myself, and when you trust no one you end up losing out on love. There is lots of love out there and sometimes you have to get hurt, really hurt to know who you are where you stand and what you want and need.
bottom line is we are still moving forward because the world is full of good genuine people.