Im sorry

There are several people that are hurt or upset with me these days because they think I am blowing them off. They ask me to come over, I say I cant they ask me if they can come over I fall asleep. They ask me to go out I cant., etc. Well let just say you are not the only one that feels this way. This isnt an issue of lets feel sorry for me but the problem is multifactoral. It is one of those break up cliches but honestly its not you...Its me.
Dont believe its me? well let me recap a day in my life for the past few months.
*July 31st, 2009 I had a major operation. (which by the way took weeks to recover from)
*sept. 1, 2009 begins of getting sick
*Oct-Nov, 2009 h1n1(and other stuff)
It may not seem like a lot and you are probably thinking that its January, you should be better. Honestly, I am but I am not 100%. The epidemiologist explained it to me like this: I spent months literally fighting for my life, whether it be the tumor or the h1n1, or the peunomia, my body's immune system was completely worn down because it did everything it could to keep my alive. For every day you are the hospital they say it takes 1 week to get better. If that is the case then I have a long time to go. My oxygen rates are at about 50-55%, while I am off oxygen my rates are low enough according to the pulmanologist to be completely exhausted. Plus I have a chronic pain issue and other autoimmune issues and something else is going on. I will let you know if it is something to get excited or worried about. At any rate honestly I am totally exhausted.
The other issue (of several) is I have I a kid I need to take care of. Someone said "well he is not yours so why do you have to take care of him?" With out getting into my family dynamics too much, I will say you are right, he is not mine. However, he is my responsibility both in the legal and physical sense. I love him, want to take care of him and would feel horrible if I left him alone and something happened. Its complicated I know.
So..really its not you, its me. I want to come over and see your place. I want for you to come over and hang out. I want to go to that bar. I mean to call. I want to have coffee, etc. I know it is hard I am just asking that you bare with me. please be patient, I am on my way to getting better I just need support more than anything. thats it. and I really am sorry if you have been hurt my us not getting together in the fashion you would like. Thats all I got. time to nap before church. happy Sunday xox